Lost in endless speculation about life.


“It’s easy to get lost in endless speculation. So today, release the need to know why things happen as they do. Instead, ask for the insight to recognize what you’re meant to learn.”Caroline Myss, is a best-selling author and medical intuitive.

Yesterday I found myself in thoughts whirling of doubts and speculations about what is going on in this life I am living, at least trying to the best I can navigate. My mind was spinning with what if’s and I found myself jumping from one thought to another only to find myself more and more confused.

Vermont Landscape Oil Painting Woodland Birch Trees

It is not an easy job to navigate a business, a creative business none the less, along with everything that is involved in maintaining and improving my business and then I add selling this home/studio, moving to another state. I think you can get the picture. I know moving the business and myself to New Hampshire is exactly what I need, to grow and expand. What I don’t know is how I am going to pull all this off. When you cannot totally invest your energy knowing you are working towards something better and creating a home, business, or life you intend living, you become fractured and a chaotic whirlwind in the mind spins. You get lost in speculations.

I have been very thankful lately for the few people who have come to browse through the house. Some serious and others, well I got to meet some very nice wonderful people. Because of  the house situation I cannot spend the money on the high commission fees for realtors but feel very comfortable offering any realtor a 3% commission. Fair right? I am doing all the marketing and showing the house. All a realtor would have to do is think about the house when showing perspective buyers the houses in the area. This is not happening. Instead I find I am ignored and passed over which is something I really cannot understand the least bit. This leads to part of the whirlwind of endless speculation and then a neighbor decided to stop selling their house on their own informing me they are meeting with a realtor. Doubt hits hard and I find myself jumping the ship or house boat, was I wrong have I put myself in jeopardy again?

It is a core value of mine, I believe everything happens for a purpose, a lesson to learn or to find the truth of a situation. Last night I was gratefully reminded of this when talking to a dear friend about what was happening with the house or not happening. This week I got hit with a series of disappointments, big ones and I will leave it at that. The why’s not important the effect is. I was reminded to look from another perspective.

When I woke today I looked at the entirety of this life altering situation I placed myself in and found if you break it down into little portions you can see answers.  First the house will sell when it is ready to sell and not a moment sooner because the person who is out there in the universe is not ready today, but maybe tomorrow, to buy. I need to stay ready and do the work keeping it looking great. The business is growing and ideas are flowing, seeds are being planted for when I do move to New Hampshire and I will, I will be that much closer to opening a wonderful new shop. Above all else I have discovered strength faith and courage to stay the course and believe in the universe and in myself.

Yes I released the endless speculations and keep an eye on the insights the universe is showing me to learn.It would be so easy to stop and give in, not sell and make do with the life I am living. There is one huge problem with that thought or solution. I would not be living the life I am supposed to live. It is the very reason why it is messy and chaotic because I am not in the right place doing the right thing and creating what is intended for this remarkable life. For myself the easiest road has never been the right path. The hard not so traveled way has always proven the most amazing spectacular road to travel.

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